I touched a little on Emily and encouraging her dreams and talents today in the Halloween blog. But this subject is really dear to my heart. I am so many times surprised by her insight, her mind and her emotional capacity for accepting love. And sometimes I am fearful that I will not be able to give her everything that she deserves from a mother. But I think every mother feels that way.
Fortunately God stretches me everyday past my preconceived ideas of what I thought I was capable of.
God is good. He alone knows where we are going in the future and how He is preparing us. And for some reason He blessed us with this beautiful, special girl and it is my gift and joy to join in the ride of a lifetime. To be instrumental in shaping her in His image and unveiling her gifts.
I can't help but think of the refiner's fire. What tests, what challenges, what joyful experiences will she go through to reveal the character and the talents that He gave just to her? And how will we as parents play a part in that refining process?
Who knows what she may be able to do? She certainly is thinking further ahead than even I ever did as a child, and believe me I have always been a big dreamer! Maybe that is why God made me the way I am, made me such a big dreamer, so that I can understand and encourage that side of this beautiful being that is my daughter.
Maybe I didn't do everything right in my life with my talents and gifts, but I certainly recognize them in my daughter and my son. And I'm grateful that I see them at such an early age. And I'm even grateful that I've always recognized my own weaknesses, though they have caused me no end of self-doubt and self-criticism, and even though they've plagued me and been difficult to overcome.
But aren't they always difficult to overcome? That's exactly why weaknesses are called weaknesses.
Hopefully I am learning to recognize and guide my children at an early age so that they can fulfill their gifts fully. It is actually exciting to see how Emily is thinking so far ahead of what I ever did!
Looking forward to the possibilities, I never want to limit my children's possibilities or beliefs in what they are capable of if they are willing to work for it. Even if it what they dream may seem impossible to me at the time. (And that seems pretty farfetched to me right now, as I have never seen anything as impossible at the outset really, just maybe deep down I may not have believed it might be possible for me to accomplish it myself.)
So Emily and I were talking about the presidential race and she asked whether or not a kid can become president.
She said, "Can I be president?"
I said, "If you want to, sure, someday."
She said, "But is it legal for a kid to be President, Mommy?"
I said, "No, honey. But if you really want to be president someday, there are a few things you should do first to prepare yourself to be a really good president. Because you're going to have to run the country, you know."
She was all ears. "Like what?"
"Well, like go to school, learn everything you can. Serve in the military for a time, so you can lead your troops. Run your own business. And travel the world and learn as much as you can about the world." She was pretty much in awe.
I said there was a lot of work involved, but that was a good start. I also said maybe she could be even be the first woman President. She thought that was cool.
Anyway, enough rhapsodizing about the future…..
Suffice it to say, I feel blessed. In awe, overwhelmed at times at the responsibility and my own frailties, but blessed.
I love you, Emily.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
I Love My Mummy!
Halloween is just around the corner and the kids are so cute! Blake insists on wearing this "I Love My Mummy" halloween t-shirt for the last two days. It's so cute. He just liked the scary shirt and I of course loved the joke, too. He doesn't get the double entendre obviously. But the other cute thing is that the mummy glows in the dark! Too funny!
We usually stay away from all the scary stuff completely, but we were looking for some pants for Blake as he is growing so fast he is almost completely out of alll of his pants and we stumbled across this really cheap t-shirt. And such a cute sentiment, too! He-hee. He just would NOT leave me alone about it. Oh well.
I've got to get to work on his costume, like QUICK, though. I am retrofitting his fireman's costume from last year. It is Navy with orange and silver stripes on the bottoms of the legs and sleeves. And the silver stripes reflect the light, which is very nice for trick or treating!
Since he is so set having a Thomas the Train costume and those costumes are either so expensive or cheesy looking, I am going to sew strips of red fabric over the orange to make it the colors of Thomas the Train.
I hope I can find some sort of Thomas emblem to sew on the jacket. That would be great. A conductor's hat would really top off the costume perfect, but getting Blake to wear any hat is impossible. Even Thomas the Train hat. Too bad. But I think it is going to look great!
As for my sweet, crazy, all feminine little girl.....for some reason, Emily is all about the scary stuff this year! She just is enthralled with anything spooky! The scarier, the gorier, the better. Fortunately she is still excited about being a fairy. She was going to be a black fairy, with these beautiful wings, after we found this beautiful black skirt at Walmart. It had a button that made the little filaments inside the skirt glow and undulate in different colors. Too cool! Really verry pretty. Man! What I wouldn't have given to have these kinds of things available as a child! There are so many cool things out now! Truly amazing technology for everything under the sun, even kids costume!
Anyway, we couldn't find the black skirt, so I was really starting to freak out inside, because she was so set on this black fairy thing! We just hadn't been able to fit it in the budget yet, and I was afraid this might happen.
But Lord be praised, we found the exact same skirt in white when we went back to get it, and she was just as happy with it, especially when we found the beautiful wings that went with it. All white and pink and purple, with a little bit of orange and yellow, with some silver glitter on them! So we added a pink leotard, white tights, and pink satin gloves and she's set. We've already got lots of cool dress-up makeup to play with, and some glitter and rhinestones. She is going to be just so precious! She is sooooo excited! I'm going to take lots of pics for sure.
And honestly I'm really glad it worked out this way, because if it gets dark earlier than usual, the white will show up better than the black costume anyway.
If I have time, I think I might try to add some extra glitter or sequins to the wings to make it glisten better (like every little girl dreams of). She will just love it! And then some velcro to the leotard and the wings. 'Cause I wanna make sure the wings don't flop down all the time like they always do with those costumes. lol.
Oh, speaking of wings flopping.....Emily was telling me, very seriously mind you, how she wanted to install some strings on her wings that she could pull to make her wings flap while she was walking. Hilarious! Already a little engineer. She's always listening to me talking about how to make things work a different way and she already thinks outside the box. I love it!
I just want to make sure that she develops a real sense of self discipline and direction. Her teacher is very impressed with Emily and her exceptional intelligence. (We just need to work on her focus.) Emily and I both are working on that, in fact.
So, off to the store to get some red fabric, velcro and back to the sewing machine! Wish me luck in finding a Thomas decal and getting this all done!
Dream It, Believe It, Do It!
We usually stay away from all the scary stuff completely, but we were looking for some pants for Blake as he is growing so fast he is almost completely out of alll of his pants and we stumbled across this really cheap t-shirt. And such a cute sentiment, too! He-hee. He just would NOT leave me alone about it. Oh well.
I've got to get to work on his costume, like QUICK, though. I am retrofitting his fireman's costume from last year. It is Navy with orange and silver stripes on the bottoms of the legs and sleeves. And the silver stripes reflect the light, which is very nice for trick or treating!
Since he is so set having a Thomas the Train costume and those costumes are either so expensive or cheesy looking, I am going to sew strips of red fabric over the orange to make it the colors of Thomas the Train.
I hope I can find some sort of Thomas emblem to sew on the jacket. That would be great. A conductor's hat would really top off the costume perfect, but getting Blake to wear any hat is impossible. Even Thomas the Train hat. Too bad. But I think it is going to look great!
As for my sweet, crazy, all feminine little girl.....for some reason, Emily is all about the scary stuff this year! She just is enthralled with anything spooky! The scarier, the gorier, the better. Fortunately she is still excited about being a fairy. She was going to be a black fairy, with these beautiful wings, after we found this beautiful black skirt at Walmart. It had a button that made the little filaments inside the skirt glow and undulate in different colors. Too cool! Really verry pretty. Man! What I wouldn't have given to have these kinds of things available as a child! There are so many cool things out now! Truly amazing technology for everything under the sun, even kids costume!
Anyway, we couldn't find the black skirt, so I was really starting to freak out inside, because she was so set on this black fairy thing! We just hadn't been able to fit it in the budget yet, and I was afraid this might happen.
But Lord be praised, we found the exact same skirt in white when we went back to get it, and she was just as happy with it, especially when we found the beautiful wings that went with it. All white and pink and purple, with a little bit of orange and yellow, with some silver glitter on them! So we added a pink leotard, white tights, and pink satin gloves and she's set. We've already got lots of cool dress-up makeup to play with, and some glitter and rhinestones. She is going to be just so precious! She is sooooo excited! I'm going to take lots of pics for sure.
And honestly I'm really glad it worked out this way, because if it gets dark earlier than usual, the white will show up better than the black costume anyway.
If I have time, I think I might try to add some extra glitter or sequins to the wings to make it glisten better (like every little girl dreams of). She will just love it! And then some velcro to the leotard and the wings. 'Cause I wanna make sure the wings don't flop down all the time like they always do with those costumes. lol.
Oh, speaking of wings flopping.....Emily was telling me, very seriously mind you, how she wanted to install some strings on her wings that she could pull to make her wings flap while she was walking. Hilarious! Already a little engineer. She's always listening to me talking about how to make things work a different way and she already thinks outside the box. I love it!
I just want to make sure that she develops a real sense of self discipline and direction. Her teacher is very impressed with Emily and her exceptional intelligence. (We just need to work on her focus.) Emily and I both are working on that, in fact.
So, off to the store to get some red fabric, velcro and back to the sewing machine! Wish me luck in finding a Thomas decal and getting this all done!
Dream It, Believe It, Do It!
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Business, Family, and Life
Well, life has a way of throwing you for a loop doesn't it?
No sooner did we get hit with this huge opportunity on the coast, just as soon, it dried up, so to speak.
But then another opportunity and another company has kept Lance's business even busier here in San Antonio! One of the largest premier event and catering companies in central texas, Rosemary's Catering, has been using us for the last 3 or 4 weeks and we now have an exclusive contract with the company and boy is it keeping us hopping.
I even did a couple of jobs with the company last week. One of them was at this big old fashioned ranch, a complete western saloon-style event, you know complete with dirt roads and old buildings that looked like an old movie set. The other was for the Culinary Food Institute where chefs from around the world flew in to sample their food for eachother under this big tent. It was just my luck though that both my events were outside.
But a couple of other events that we staffed that evening were weddings; one was this huge beautiful event held in Austin where both the groom and the bride were pilots and they both flew off at the end of the night! How cool is that!
Man, I wish I'd seen that!
Anyway, the business is growing, the kids are growing even faster.
Emily is at the head of her class. I got a note from her teacher saying that she is being nominated for submission into the gifted program for "study" if I will give my permission. Of course! Wow! Her teacher had told me at our conference that she was already at the end of first grade reading level and excelling at all her subjects, the only issue she had at all was that she needed to concentrate a little more on listening. The teacher has to repeat things to her.....Yeah. This is a problem. I completely agreed with her. We are working on this at home as well.
I remember I had exactly the same "report card" at the same age. I excelled in every subject, didn't act out, wasn't a problem student at all, but I was at times "distant".
But I remember distinctly my side of the story, too. Because it wasn't that I wasn't focused, because I was. I was just focused on something that interested me more. I remember one day in particular, (this was in Duncan, OK) I was "daydreaming" as the teacher would relay it, but what I was actually doing was "inventing".
I was creating a machine, a flying machine, a kind of combination between a bicycle and a helicopter, with wings off the side. I was watching the birds outside the school window and seeing how they worked, intently trying to figure out how my machine could work.
Anyway, I was caught "daydreaming". But I was so excited about it! Because I was so sure it would work.
I later told my mom about my machine and how I'd actually figured out how the gears would work together to turn the propellors and help to maintain some sort of lift, at least if only for a little way. But she completely poo-pooed my idea and told me it was ridiculous and that it was impossible and wouldn't work and really just ended up totally stealing my dream. I was crushed! I mean I was a little kid with this great idea! I'd spent a lot of time on it and it was a lot of intricate design and engineering that went into it. But hey, if my mom didn't think it was going to work I guess she was right. Of course I gave up on the idea. I mean I didn't ahve the means or the money to make it happen on my own anyway if she wasn't going to support it, so what was I supposed to do?
But then, a couple of years later, I saw on TV another person, (an adult, of course) on a news story who did almost EXACTLY my same invention! Someone ELSE created MY flying helicopter/bicycle! I was so mad! Yeah! It wouldn't work, huh?
Anyway, back to Emily. She is like me in a lot of ways. She has a lot going on "up there" all the time. She is an inventer, a thinker. She is curious. She is a problem solver. She helps me come up with ideas and solutions all the time for things. I encourage her to think outside the box.
And I am fascinated by how her mind works because I understand it. I only pray that God gives me the wisdom to channel it well so that she is actually able to reach her potential in life.
She is such a bright light in my life! Often, I don't even realize I am down until she walks in the room with her smile and I have to shake myself out of it for her sake.
But she is also different than me in so many ways! I believe God gave her to me to bless me but to teach me as well. And I believe that God will give me everything I will ever need to give Emily everything she will ever need from a mother. For whatever reason He gave her to me and me alone to mother. I am the only one in the world that can fulfill that role for her in the same way and so I am trying to grow and stretch myself to become the best I can be, fallen though I am right now.
I pray that I will be a mother who challenges her to grow and stretch herself, not by pushing her but by giving her the gift of seeing her own mother challenging herself. Because children ultimately learn what they see. They do what they see, not what they are told.
I have spent the blog on Emily today because I have needed to spend more time with her so she is on my mind. But Blake is growing llike a weed! He is attached at the hip. He is definately a mama's boy right now! He doesn't get to see daddy much right now because of business so I think he's a little miffed at daddy and clings to me a little more because of it. But he is also just with me all the time because Emily is at school and he's not. I'm thinking of trying to get him into a pre-k program when we can afford it just to get him used to being away from me some more. He's already spelling words and writing and interested in math so I think he is ready for school next year. And I NEED some mommy time!
I also am hoping to get some of my jewelry bags online this christmas, so check back soon everybody.....
No sooner did we get hit with this huge opportunity on the coast, just as soon, it dried up, so to speak.
But then another opportunity and another company has kept Lance's business even busier here in San Antonio! One of the largest premier event and catering companies in central texas, Rosemary's Catering, has been using us for the last 3 or 4 weeks and we now have an exclusive contract with the company and boy is it keeping us hopping.
I even did a couple of jobs with the company last week. One of them was at this big old fashioned ranch, a complete western saloon-style event, you know complete with dirt roads and old buildings that looked like an old movie set. The other was for the Culinary Food Institute where chefs from around the world flew in to sample their food for eachother under this big tent. It was just my luck though that both my events were outside.
But a couple of other events that we staffed that evening were weddings; one was this huge beautiful event held in Austin where both the groom and the bride were pilots and they both flew off at the end of the night! How cool is that!
Man, I wish I'd seen that!
Anyway, the business is growing, the kids are growing even faster.
Emily is at the head of her class. I got a note from her teacher saying that she is being nominated for submission into the gifted program for "study" if I will give my permission. Of course! Wow! Her teacher had told me at our conference that she was already at the end of first grade reading level and excelling at all her subjects, the only issue she had at all was that she needed to concentrate a little more on listening. The teacher has to repeat things to her.....Yeah. This is a problem. I completely agreed with her. We are working on this at home as well.
I remember I had exactly the same "report card" at the same age. I excelled in every subject, didn't act out, wasn't a problem student at all, but I was at times "distant".
But I remember distinctly my side of the story, too. Because it wasn't that I wasn't focused, because I was. I was just focused on something that interested me more. I remember one day in particular, (this was in Duncan, OK) I was "daydreaming" as the teacher would relay it, but what I was actually doing was "inventing".
I was creating a machine, a flying machine, a kind of combination between a bicycle and a helicopter, with wings off the side. I was watching the birds outside the school window and seeing how they worked, intently trying to figure out how my machine could work.
Anyway, I was caught "daydreaming". But I was so excited about it! Because I was so sure it would work.
I later told my mom about my machine and how I'd actually figured out how the gears would work together to turn the propellors and help to maintain some sort of lift, at least if only for a little way. But she completely poo-pooed my idea and told me it was ridiculous and that it was impossible and wouldn't work and really just ended up totally stealing my dream. I was crushed! I mean I was a little kid with this great idea! I'd spent a lot of time on it and it was a lot of intricate design and engineering that went into it. But hey, if my mom didn't think it was going to work I guess she was right. Of course I gave up on the idea. I mean I didn't ahve the means or the money to make it happen on my own anyway if she wasn't going to support it, so what was I supposed to do?
But then, a couple of years later, I saw on TV another person, (an adult, of course) on a news story who did almost EXACTLY my same invention! Someone ELSE created MY flying helicopter/bicycle! I was so mad! Yeah! It wouldn't work, huh?
Anyway, back to Emily. She is like me in a lot of ways. She has a lot going on "up there" all the time. She is an inventer, a thinker. She is curious. She is a problem solver. She helps me come up with ideas and solutions all the time for things. I encourage her to think outside the box.
And I am fascinated by how her mind works because I understand it. I only pray that God gives me the wisdom to channel it well so that she is actually able to reach her potential in life.
She is such a bright light in my life! Often, I don't even realize I am down until she walks in the room with her smile and I have to shake myself out of it for her sake.
But she is also different than me in so many ways! I believe God gave her to me to bless me but to teach me as well. And I believe that God will give me everything I will ever need to give Emily everything she will ever need from a mother. For whatever reason He gave her to me and me alone to mother. I am the only one in the world that can fulfill that role for her in the same way and so I am trying to grow and stretch myself to become the best I can be, fallen though I am right now.
I pray that I will be a mother who challenges her to grow and stretch herself, not by pushing her but by giving her the gift of seeing her own mother challenging herself. Because children ultimately learn what they see. They do what they see, not what they are told.
I have spent the blog on Emily today because I have needed to spend more time with her so she is on my mind. But Blake is growing llike a weed! He is attached at the hip. He is definately a mama's boy right now! He doesn't get to see daddy much right now because of business so I think he's a little miffed at daddy and clings to me a little more because of it. But he is also just with me all the time because Emily is at school and he's not. I'm thinking of trying to get him into a pre-k program when we can afford it just to get him used to being away from me some more. He's already spelling words and writing and interested in math so I think he is ready for school next year. And I NEED some mommy time!
I also am hoping to get some of my jewelry bags online this christmas, so check back soon everybody.....
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Cleaning Up The Coast!
Wow! What a week! Just quickly, because it has been CRRRaaaaaZZy around here!
Lance was contacted out of the blue last Friday by someone in Beaumont who is working with FEMA on the cleanup efforts from Hurricane Ike. They are needing help, massive amounts of it with debris cleanup and they desperately need manpower and equipment.
So we have been working feverishly trying to bring in any and all resources to bear on this project. Lance even went down to Beaumont Sunday morning to get the lay of the land himself, even though it was our anniversary, because it was just impossible to coordinate such a huge undertaking without a clear picture of what they needed.
Friday they said they needed bobcats and operators and we had a 4 man crew ready to go by saturday afternoon, they were set to arrive Sunday a.m. But then, sat afternoon they said, no they had didn't need the bobcats, they needed trailers, then they said that dumptrucks and bobcat.....
Anyway, Lance needed to be there. So he was down there Sunday thru Tuesday. And now we know exactly what it looks like, where the landfill is, where the areas that need most help are, exactly what equipment is needed, who all the players are, contractors, FEMA personnel, etc. He got to talk to all of the guys in the chain personally instead of on the phone and it was all good.
So, our 12th anniversary was spent apart, but for a great reason. We cannot even imagine how this opportunity is going to be able to allow us to help others out, how our little company can make a huge difference in other's lives in ways that we NEVER imagined!
But then, also, after all of the struggles we've been through, too? The amount of work that there is to be done down there can keep us very busy and actually bring our company our of the red, and in a very short time, too, if all things fall in place right.
So I have been at the computer trying to recruit from home as well from around the country through craigslist, making phone calls, etc, to help the guys in the office bring crews, people, equipment, down here, too.
Whew! What a challenge, especially since I've been out of the field for 7 years! But what a thrill too!
Gotta Go! Blog Ya Later.....
Lance was contacted out of the blue last Friday by someone in Beaumont who is working with FEMA on the cleanup efforts from Hurricane Ike. They are needing help, massive amounts of it with debris cleanup and they desperately need manpower and equipment.
So we have been working feverishly trying to bring in any and all resources to bear on this project. Lance even went down to Beaumont Sunday morning to get the lay of the land himself, even though it was our anniversary, because it was just impossible to coordinate such a huge undertaking without a clear picture of what they needed.
Friday they said they needed bobcats and operators and we had a 4 man crew ready to go by saturday afternoon, they were set to arrive Sunday a.m. But then, sat afternoon they said, no they had didn't need the bobcats, they needed trailers, then they said that dumptrucks and bobcat.....
Anyway, Lance needed to be there. So he was down there Sunday thru Tuesday. And now we know exactly what it looks like, where the landfill is, where the areas that need most help are, exactly what equipment is needed, who all the players are, contractors, FEMA personnel, etc. He got to talk to all of the guys in the chain personally instead of on the phone and it was all good.
So, our 12th anniversary was spent apart, but for a great reason. We cannot even imagine how this opportunity is going to be able to allow us to help others out, how our little company can make a huge difference in other's lives in ways that we NEVER imagined!
But then, also, after all of the struggles we've been through, too? The amount of work that there is to be done down there can keep us very busy and actually bring our company our of the red, and in a very short time, too, if all things fall in place right.
So I have been at the computer trying to recruit from home as well from around the country through craigslist, making phone calls, etc, to help the guys in the office bring crews, people, equipment, down here, too.
Whew! What a challenge, especially since I've been out of the field for 7 years! But what a thrill too!
Gotta Go! Blog Ya Later.....
Friday, September 5, 2008
Emily is A First Grader!
I cannot believe my baby girl is a first grader! She is so precious and so beautiful and so grown up all ready.
She's already a pro at the whole drop off and pick up process of course from last year and gets testy when you treat he like she needs to be told something she already knows, LOL. :)
But even at just two weeks into school she is already missing me. We have already planned on making special efforts at mommy/Emily time a regular thing and much more often than we do. I have made it a point recently to take her on Mommy "Dates", you know, girl time, like shopping trips or going to the mall or the park just the two of us and leaving the boys behind. We are going to go get our nails done together sometimes too, really rarely because I don't want that to be a regular thing that she expects or thinks she has to have done for her to have fun with mommy, because we can also paint our nails together at home. But it would be fun to it together once or twice at a salon and she is just flat out excited about that.
She is starting dance lessons this year too. I am excited for her as much as she is excited. She absolutely can't sit still anyway and loves to dance so I can't wait to channel that and see what talent she may have as well as teach her grace and self-discipline through group instruction.
We also want the kids to be exposed to the discipline of some form of martial arts as well as dance, as well as the comraderie and physical training of team sports of some sort, whether it be baseball, soccer, or basketball. I'm not real thrilled with the injury level of football, although I love the game. Lance can attest to that. He played all through high school with the team that the tv series is based on. He played against Emmett Smith! Wow! He's got some great stories to tell. Anyway, football? I don't know.....that will be Blake's choice when it comes to that, though.
Anyway, first grade.....wow! This is going to be a great year! I can just feel it!
She's already a pro at the whole drop off and pick up process of course from last year and gets testy when you treat he like she needs to be told something she already knows, LOL. :)
But even at just two weeks into school she is already missing me. We have already planned on making special efforts at mommy/Emily time a regular thing and much more often than we do. I have made it a point recently to take her on Mommy "Dates", you know, girl time, like shopping trips or going to the mall or the park just the two of us and leaving the boys behind. We are going to go get our nails done together sometimes too, really rarely because I don't want that to be a regular thing that she expects or thinks she has to have done for her to have fun with mommy, because we can also paint our nails together at home. But it would be fun to it together once or twice at a salon and she is just flat out excited about that.
She is starting dance lessons this year too. I am excited for her as much as she is excited. She absolutely can't sit still anyway and loves to dance so I can't wait to channel that and see what talent she may have as well as teach her grace and self-discipline through group instruction.
We also want the kids to be exposed to the discipline of some form of martial arts as well as dance, as well as the comraderie and physical training of team sports of some sort, whether it be baseball, soccer, or basketball. I'm not real thrilled with the injury level of football, although I love the game. Lance can attest to that. He played all through high school with the team that the tv series is based on. He played against Emmett Smith! Wow! He's got some great stories to tell. Anyway, football? I don't know.....that will be Blake's choice when it comes to that, though.
Anyway, first grade.....wow! This is going to be a great year! I can just feel it!
Friday, August 15, 2008
Ok, So I've Been Wrong Before.....
Well.....My last post was about how I had gotten through my month long ordeal with migraines, which had ended in an ER trip for the worst of them, and which induced a trip to a new Neurologist, who finally prscribed something that actually seemed to be helping! And how, "knock on wood", I'd actually had a couple of weeks off from pain. Yeah!!
Well, no sooner did I post that, then what happens? Thursday night, the perfect storm hits again. Stress, tremendous sinus pressure, working on the computer....which is very difficult on me and is sometimes a trigger for my migraines....and just plain old fatigue, all came together to bring on another doozy of a migraine!
I'd already taken OTC migraine meds that day, which weren't doing squat for my headache. Thursday night I could tell it was blowing up into a migraine, but I didn
t have any prescription meds like Imitrex, only Darvocet. But Darvocet doesn't seem to do much for me but relax me a little. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. So by nighttime, I had to take the Darvocet and hope for the best. It used to work for me, but most of the time, if it is a bad migraine, Darvocet doesn't do squat for the real heavy duty migraines.
Anyway, my neurologist had told me that he wanted me to be on a higher dose of Topomax,......(which again, is an anti-seizure medicine he prescribed for my seizures as well as for prevention of my migraines).....because he was sure my migraines would return on just the lowest beginning dosage.
But I didn't want to take a higher dosage, if I didn't absolutely have to. I just don't like taking prescription meds, especially on a regular basis and at higher dosages for fear of side effects and becoming dependent on them.
So I told him that I would start out at the 25mg dose and see how I do, and at that time, so far so good. I had 3 whole weeks with no migraines, happy, happy!
But the other night goes to show that maybe he was right. I will get the 50mg prescription filled and see how that goes.
Anyway, so Thursday night, last night, (Jeez! Was it only last night?!) I took the Darvocet, tossed and turned all night in abject misery, got no sleep and by the time Lance got up, I had already awoken again from another fitful little snooze, and yippee got to see the sun come up. Ugh!
So today, I was awake before him, waiting for him to rub my neck, my head, my temples, my anything to help me get some semblance of relief. I actually got in the shower before he was out the door. Although everything in me was screaming to stay in bed, I was so tired and in so much pain, sometimes the hot water pounding on my neck and shoulders relives the tension. So I got my weary body and my bleery-eyed head under the hottest water I could stand. Then I went back to bed until the very last minute I could, finally dropping off into a deep sleep.
A very short hour and a half later, I awoke to the sound of Blake and Emily walking around, playing, so I curled up under the covers, dreading the clanging of noise that comes with the day. But of course, mommies don't get days off, LOL.
Shortly thereafter, the play became fussing and Mommy, migraine or no, needed to get up and get breakfast and get to the business of living.....
I went into my the chiropractor today at my doctor's office for an emergency adjustment as I could feel that everything was completely tied up in knots and that has helped.
Tonight I still have the residual throbbing, underlying pain that feels like it is threatening to blow up again. So I need to get off the computer. But I just wanted to document this for myself, if for nothing else. It is helping me to get an idea as to the times and durations of these things.
One thing in all of this.....when you are so used to pain, you sure appreciate days without it! LOL
Maybe tomorrow will be a good day. I hope so, it's Saturday. I really want to enjoy a Saturday with the family.
My neck is burning right now from sitting here....so gotta go.
Blog ya later....
Well, no sooner did I post that, then what happens? Thursday night, the perfect storm hits again. Stress, tremendous sinus pressure, working on the computer....which is very difficult on me and is sometimes a trigger for my migraines....and just plain old fatigue, all came together to bring on another doozy of a migraine!
I'd already taken OTC migraine meds that day, which weren't doing squat for my headache. Thursday night I could tell it was blowing up into a migraine, but I didn
t have any prescription meds like Imitrex, only Darvocet. But Darvocet doesn't seem to do much for me but relax me a little. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. So by nighttime, I had to take the Darvocet and hope for the best. It used to work for me, but most of the time, if it is a bad migraine, Darvocet doesn't do squat for the real heavy duty migraines.
Anyway, my neurologist had told me that he wanted me to be on a higher dose of Topomax,......(which again, is an anti-seizure medicine he prescribed for my seizures as well as for prevention of my migraines).....because he was sure my migraines would return on just the lowest beginning dosage.
But I didn't want to take a higher dosage, if I didn't absolutely have to. I just don't like taking prescription meds, especially on a regular basis and at higher dosages for fear of side effects and becoming dependent on them.
So I told him that I would start out at the 25mg dose and see how I do, and at that time, so far so good. I had 3 whole weeks with no migraines, happy, happy!
But the other night goes to show that maybe he was right. I will get the 50mg prescription filled and see how that goes.
Anyway, so Thursday night, last night, (Jeez! Was it only last night?!) I took the Darvocet, tossed and turned all night in abject misery, got no sleep and by the time Lance got up, I had already awoken again from another fitful little snooze, and yippee got to see the sun come up. Ugh!
So today, I was awake before him, waiting for him to rub my neck, my head, my temples, my anything to help me get some semblance of relief. I actually got in the shower before he was out the door. Although everything in me was screaming to stay in bed, I was so tired and in so much pain, sometimes the hot water pounding on my neck and shoulders relives the tension. So I got my weary body and my bleery-eyed head under the hottest water I could stand. Then I went back to bed until the very last minute I could, finally dropping off into a deep sleep.
A very short hour and a half later, I awoke to the sound of Blake and Emily walking around, playing, so I curled up under the covers, dreading the clanging of noise that comes with the day. But of course, mommies don't get days off, LOL.
Shortly thereafter, the play became fussing and Mommy, migraine or no, needed to get up and get breakfast and get to the business of living.....
I went into my the chiropractor today at my doctor's office for an emergency adjustment as I could feel that everything was completely tied up in knots and that has helped.
Tonight I still have the residual throbbing, underlying pain that feels like it is threatening to blow up again. So I need to get off the computer. But I just wanted to document this for myself, if for nothing else. It is helping me to get an idea as to the times and durations of these things.
One thing in all of this.....when you are so used to pain, you sure appreciate days without it! LOL
Maybe tomorrow will be a good day. I hope so, it's Saturday. I really want to enjoy a Saturday with the family.
My neck is burning right now from sitting here....so gotta go.
Blog ya later....
Monday, August 11, 2008
Where Have I Been?!
Oh my gosh! I can't believe it's been so long! Life get's in the way doesn't it?
Well, best laid plans of mice and men, as they say.......
I have cut down on the dishes....good
Papers...still working on it. Ugh!
Laundry....Much better. But still Ugh!
I actually got some real organization done this month in my room, my closet, my pantry and laundry room. Yeah! I am beginning to weed through old clothes of Emily's because school is starting and she is needing new clothes anyway. She has already grown out of all but 3 pair of her shoes, 2 of which are sandals and since her school requires closed toe shoes, we need to buy new shoes, too.
But most of all, I have been weighed down under a mountain of emotional and physical stress this last month. I actually went into the ER for the first time in my life for a migraine. And wouldn't you know it was on July 4th! Blake had gone into the ER the night before for this terrible stomach virus that came out of nowhere, poor baby. And then, after I'd already been battling migraines for 3 weeks, after I'd been up all night the night before with Blake in the hospital, then it was my turn.
I got the most aweful, please let me die right now, leave me alone, migraines! It was the most horrendous migraine I have ever had in my life. It seemed to stem from my neck this time. I thought there was something seriously wrong with my neck. I have believed for some time that maybe my migraines are caused by some sort of neck damage. I wanted them to take MRIs of my neck because there was a huge bulge there, on teh left side, right where it has happened many times before, but of course, every time I get into the doctor, it is gone and it is not of concern, at least not enough to take MRIs or anything. Well, when I finally got into the room, which was like 4 hours later!, since I had history of Mograines the ER doctor refused to take up expensive equipment testing and wanted me to go to my primary care physician and schedule these tests. Which of course was missing the point, because I wanted to have the MRI done while I had this huge bulging on my neck! LOL.
Anyway, I was still happy just to have the pain meds and a shot for the nausea because nothing I had taken, even my prescription migrained meds had worked this time. He let me rest in the dark room while the meds set in and sent me home after I was able to move again. I got into the car and laid there weakly while we drove around looking for a spot to watch fireworks because I didn't want the kids to miss this opportunity. I wanted to go straight to bed, for sure. But the meds were working like a miracle. I could actually look at the fireworks and not cringe. Fortunately we found a little spot on teh side of the road right before they started and got a pretty good view although it wasn't the grand evening we'd planned on. :(
Well, that was the worst of the migraines. I am happy to say (knock on wood)that I found a neurologist, a Dr Yankov, who seriously has taken in all of my symptoms and my history of these seizures that I have had in the past, and he prescribed an anti-seizure medication Topomax.
Oh my Gosh! What a Godsend! I have not been a proponent of prescription anti-depressants, since I got very dependent on Effexor and had a very hard time getting off of it. But I can tell you after dealing with almost daily migraines for several weeks, and going to the ER, it was making it impossible to function every day.
I was crying practically everyday at some point because of the pain, the pain caused frustration and depression, and the inability to function caused depression.....it was just a vicious cycle!
Well, once I started taking the Topomax, I have not had a migraine since! It has been at least 2 almost 3 weeks. I have had the beginnings of a headache but no migraines! Yippeeee!
It is AMAZING how much better life is without constant PAIN!!!!!!
I actually took Emily to the pool the other day!
Now why I began having migraines again, all of a sudden, is something of a mystery to me, because I hadn't had many in the several months since moving to SA.
I have had some sinus problems as well and am getting them under control with Advair, Allegra and Nasocort. ALthough honestly I haven't been taking the Advair and the Nasocort spray regularly. The Allegra is a antihistimine that keeps me pretty dried up. No drowsiness so far!
The other reason I haven't posted in a while is that I have been inundated with some family matters for the last few weeks that needed to be dealt with, and to be honest they were quite draining. In fact, they may have been part of the reason I was having so many migraines.
It has been a tough few weeks and hopefully healing will be the result. It is so difficult and painful to go through the process of family crisis and healing.
And I am going to get a little thoughtful here, because it is just flowing through my mind right now......
Why is it that we have to be broken before we can heal?
As I grow older, it seems that everytime I look at myself, I find something else that needs fixing. It's like a leg that has grown crooked or something. It needs to be broken and reset, so to speak. I find that I have learned things about myself that I don't like, or I see patterns that need to be reset, ways of thinking that need to be adjusted, and habits that just need to be thrown out and replaced.
Sure there are things about other people in family crisis that hurt you, and those are the things that you have to express to them, but there are so many things that I have to change in myself too if I want to be whole, if I want to be who God intended me to be.
That is my biggest struggle right now. Me. How do I deal with the people in my life, when I am so flawed! I react in anger so easily. I find that my heart is so easily hurt, that I have let my guard down and that it is not protected with the Holy Spirit as it was when I was a child or when I was a teenager. I was always so grounded in my faith. I have lost that somewhere along the way.
I have let the Armour of God fall away, slowly but surely. I have allowed Life to "get in the way". You know, when my husband and I were going through some really difficult times, I thought I was handling it pretty well. I was holding onto my faith. I still had my family. I was still loved and respected by everyone around me.
But I was still yet to be tested. My faith didn't falter, my joy for life didn't really start fading until I experienced real, deep, personal and personally directed Hurts. Hurts inflicted by people I loved most in the world.
But looking back now I have found something very interesting in even this. Even though they were great hurts, and not to be taken lightly, I have LET the hurts of the people closest to me chip away at my Spiritual Armour. I have LET the battles of the day, the Trials of Life, the Struggles of Sin triumph in little ways. Depression, loss of opportunity, time itself slips away......people who I could have influenced for Christ weren't.....
If I were a warrior, I would be a weak example, the arms that should hold the Shield of Faith are weak, instead of strengthened with the knowledge of, and the sure foundation of Scripture.
What am I saying? Of course I am a warrior! Rise up and Fight!
What I have struggled with is common to man. We all struggle with many things, with many burdens. We are all at different stages of learning. God is Faithful, even though I am not.
We had Communion Sunday. The sermon was about Empowering women. I think it was quite appropriate that God had healed all of us from our sinus problems at the same time and we were all able to go to church today. I wept like a baby. This sermon hit me like a ton of bricks and a breath of fresh air at the same time. I alwayd wonder if I should feel guilty for wanting to be so much more than I am. I am always feel like I am just a shadow of who I want to be.
And it felt like God was calling me to walk forward in faith that He had more for me. More to learn, more to be, more to do. Don't be afraid to step out, Melanie. I'm Here.
I repented of so many things. I rejoiced in His Mercy that He is faithful and He wanted me enough to call me to Salvation. I am Forever His! God be Praised! He alone is Worthy!
Well, best laid plans of mice and men, as they say.......
I have cut down on the dishes....good
Papers...still working on it. Ugh!
Laundry....Much better. But still Ugh!
I actually got some real organization done this month in my room, my closet, my pantry and laundry room. Yeah! I am beginning to weed through old clothes of Emily's because school is starting and she is needing new clothes anyway. She has already grown out of all but 3 pair of her shoes, 2 of which are sandals and since her school requires closed toe shoes, we need to buy new shoes, too.
But most of all, I have been weighed down under a mountain of emotional and physical stress this last month. I actually went into the ER for the first time in my life for a migraine. And wouldn't you know it was on July 4th! Blake had gone into the ER the night before for this terrible stomach virus that came out of nowhere, poor baby. And then, after I'd already been battling migraines for 3 weeks, after I'd been up all night the night before with Blake in the hospital, then it was my turn.
I got the most aweful, please let me die right now, leave me alone, migraines! It was the most horrendous migraine I have ever had in my life. It seemed to stem from my neck this time. I thought there was something seriously wrong with my neck. I have believed for some time that maybe my migraines are caused by some sort of neck damage. I wanted them to take MRIs of my neck because there was a huge bulge there, on teh left side, right where it has happened many times before, but of course, every time I get into the doctor, it is gone and it is not of concern, at least not enough to take MRIs or anything. Well, when I finally got into the room, which was like 4 hours later!, since I had history of Mograines the ER doctor refused to take up expensive equipment testing and wanted me to go to my primary care physician and schedule these tests. Which of course was missing the point, because I wanted to have the MRI done while I had this huge bulging on my neck! LOL.
Anyway, I was still happy just to have the pain meds and a shot for the nausea because nothing I had taken, even my prescription migrained meds had worked this time. He let me rest in the dark room while the meds set in and sent me home after I was able to move again. I got into the car and laid there weakly while we drove around looking for a spot to watch fireworks because I didn't want the kids to miss this opportunity. I wanted to go straight to bed, for sure. But the meds were working like a miracle. I could actually look at the fireworks and not cringe. Fortunately we found a little spot on teh side of the road right before they started and got a pretty good view although it wasn't the grand evening we'd planned on. :(
Well, that was the worst of the migraines. I am happy to say (knock on wood)that I found a neurologist, a Dr Yankov, who seriously has taken in all of my symptoms and my history of these seizures that I have had in the past, and he prescribed an anti-seizure medication Topomax.
Oh my Gosh! What a Godsend! I have not been a proponent of prescription anti-depressants, since I got very dependent on Effexor and had a very hard time getting off of it. But I can tell you after dealing with almost daily migraines for several weeks, and going to the ER, it was making it impossible to function every day.
I was crying practically everyday at some point because of the pain, the pain caused frustration and depression, and the inability to function caused depression.....it was just a vicious cycle!
Well, once I started taking the Topomax, I have not had a migraine since! It has been at least 2 almost 3 weeks. I have had the beginnings of a headache but no migraines! Yippeeee!
It is AMAZING how much better life is without constant PAIN!!!!!!
I actually took Emily to the pool the other day!
Now why I began having migraines again, all of a sudden, is something of a mystery to me, because I hadn't had many in the several months since moving to SA.
I have had some sinus problems as well and am getting them under control with Advair, Allegra and Nasocort. ALthough honestly I haven't been taking the Advair and the Nasocort spray regularly. The Allegra is a antihistimine that keeps me pretty dried up. No drowsiness so far!
The other reason I haven't posted in a while is that I have been inundated with some family matters for the last few weeks that needed to be dealt with, and to be honest they were quite draining. In fact, they may have been part of the reason I was having so many migraines.
It has been a tough few weeks and hopefully healing will be the result. It is so difficult and painful to go through the process of family crisis and healing.
And I am going to get a little thoughtful here, because it is just flowing through my mind right now......
Why is it that we have to be broken before we can heal?
As I grow older, it seems that everytime I look at myself, I find something else that needs fixing. It's like a leg that has grown crooked or something. It needs to be broken and reset, so to speak. I find that I have learned things about myself that I don't like, or I see patterns that need to be reset, ways of thinking that need to be adjusted, and habits that just need to be thrown out and replaced.
Sure there are things about other people in family crisis that hurt you, and those are the things that you have to express to them, but there are so many things that I have to change in myself too if I want to be whole, if I want to be who God intended me to be.
That is my biggest struggle right now. Me. How do I deal with the people in my life, when I am so flawed! I react in anger so easily. I find that my heart is so easily hurt, that I have let my guard down and that it is not protected with the Holy Spirit as it was when I was a child or when I was a teenager. I was always so grounded in my faith. I have lost that somewhere along the way.
I have let the Armour of God fall away, slowly but surely. I have allowed Life to "get in the way". You know, when my husband and I were going through some really difficult times, I thought I was handling it pretty well. I was holding onto my faith. I still had my family. I was still loved and respected by everyone around me.
But I was still yet to be tested. My faith didn't falter, my joy for life didn't really start fading until I experienced real, deep, personal and personally directed Hurts. Hurts inflicted by people I loved most in the world.
But looking back now I have found something very interesting in even this. Even though they were great hurts, and not to be taken lightly, I have LET the hurts of the people closest to me chip away at my Spiritual Armour. I have LET the battles of the day, the Trials of Life, the Struggles of Sin triumph in little ways. Depression, loss of opportunity, time itself slips away......people who I could have influenced for Christ weren't.....
If I were a warrior, I would be a weak example, the arms that should hold the Shield of Faith are weak, instead of strengthened with the knowledge of, and the sure foundation of Scripture.
What am I saying? Of course I am a warrior! Rise up and Fight!
What I have struggled with is common to man. We all struggle with many things, with many burdens. We are all at different stages of learning. God is Faithful, even though I am not.
We had Communion Sunday. The sermon was about Empowering women. I think it was quite appropriate that God had healed all of us from our sinus problems at the same time and we were all able to go to church today. I wept like a baby. This sermon hit me like a ton of bricks and a breath of fresh air at the same time. I alwayd wonder if I should feel guilty for wanting to be so much more than I am. I am always feel like I am just a shadow of who I want to be.
And it felt like God was calling me to walk forward in faith that He had more for me. More to learn, more to be, more to do. Don't be afraid to step out, Melanie. I'm Here.
I repented of so many things. I rejoiced in His Mercy that He is faithful and He wanted me enough to call me to Salvation. I am Forever His! God be Praised! He alone is Worthy!
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Kids, laundry and Life
Well, I must say, sometimes I feel so smitten with my kids. I know most of the time as a stay at home mom, it gets frustrating just trying to handle all of the duties as well as the disciplining, the housework, the cooking, the laundry, etc.
But sometimes you just have to stop for a minute and really LOOK at your kids. Really watch their faces as they excitedly describe something they have discovered, or even ask you a neverending question, "Can I have......?"
The innocence and the sweetness can melt away all of the layers of thoughts of "I gotta do this, I should really do that, I really don't want to do THAT!" and then, "Oh CRAP! I forgot to do that.......!"
Blake today was hiding his arm in his tshirt and excitedly pretending that he lost it. "Look! My arm is gone, mommy!"
I said, "Oh NO! Where did it go?"
Pop! out comes the little arm and he spreads out his fingers and cries, "There it is!" with just the cutest expression of surprise and pride. :)
I wish I'd had a camera with me and I could catch all those little special expressions, because sometimes he absolutely clams up in front of the camera, just pretending that he doesn't really want to be photographed even though I know he does. SO getting a photo of good him is a trick. :)
Emily, herself, is a bag of tricks. She is so full of life that I don't know how to take it sometimes. I have always been so "reserved" I guess you would say. There is not a shy bone in that girls body! She doesn't just hug you, she attacks you! She doesn't just smile at other kids, she shouts across the play area, "Hey!!! What's your name?" and then will proceed to give a total stranger all of her toys and her affection, whether they want it or not.
I really need to spend more alone time with her. Before Blake was born, she had me all to herself and we had so many moments of sweet, precious bonding. I remember worrying with great tears sometimes, while I was pregnant with Blake, that I wouldn't be able to love another child like I loved Emily. I really did not see how I could ever share my love with another child. I just adored her. I still adore her and she she knows she holds a special place in my heart because she is my first.
I was just telling her last night how special she was. I said, "You know what Emily?" She said, "What?" looking up at me with those big brown eyes, full of expectation.
"God made you soo special, that there is no one in the world like you!" She broke out into a big grin, very self-satisfied, basking in the knowledge. (I've told her this before, but she never tires of it:)
"In fact, He broke the mold after He made you." I said in a sort of conspiratorial way.
"What's a mold?" she said, confused.
"You know how we make cookies with cookie cutters? Well, you can make lots of cookies that are all the same with a cookie cutter. A mold is like that. You can make lots of the same things with a mold. But he broke the "Emily" mold so there will never be another Emily like you ever again!"
And then I said, "And you know what is even more amazing?"
"What?!" she says in a whisper.
"God gave you to ME! He must love me a lot."
She was on cloud nine! It was so sweet to see how she just lights up like a star when she knows she is loved. She gets really quiet, but she just glows!
It is one of the only times I can get her to sit still, when we have special time like that. She was actually a calmer child before Blake came into the picture. She was so excited to have her little brother! She still is, she loves him to death. But I can tell that no matter how much attention she gets from me, she misses having me all to herself.
I miss those special times we had together, too. I have tried to make sure we go out on little "dates" together, and she absolutely loves it. But I need to make it more regular and more frequent. She just has so much love to give and she is larger than life itself. She needs more attention than I ever did as a child.
So as far as the laundry goes, and other things that are constantly taking up precious time.....
I really love to do deep cleaning and even organizing, but it seems I can never get to them often enough because of the other things that are constant sources of frustration and is just neverending "busy-work". My main sources of frustration on a daily basis are:
Laundry, Dishes, Toys and Papers! (Misc papers and mail and just disorganized paperwork)
So I have decided I am going to try an experiment.
Laundry: I am going to set out a small amount of outfits for each child and myself included, like no more than a week or 10 days worth. I will either pack or set aside all other clothes and these will be the only things we can wear. I am aslo going to weed out unused clothing this week and donate or sell them.
Dishes: Also, I am going to use only disposable dishes for a while just to get on top of things. Cutting out the neverending stream of dishes in the sink will free up some time to tackle other projects.....lol
Toys: I have already tackled the toy issue. I packed up all the kids toys after a particularly bad afternoon outing where they refused to obey me. So I told them that ALL of their toys were going in garbage bags, and they could earn a toy back each time they obey me, THE FIRST TIME I say something. If I have to ask them more than once, it doesn't count. If they disobey again, a previously earned toy goes back in the garbage bags.
So most of the toys are in the garage right now.......
Papers: As far as the paperwork goes...that needs serious attention! My office is a source of tension everyday so I am just going to have to tackle it bit by bit.
But spending time with the kids has got to be a priority and cutting down on unneccessary work will help with that......
I just am amazed sometimes. I will look at them and think, "Where are my little babies?" They grow too fast!
Time is of the essence, all you moms out there! Join me, all you who labour and are heavy laden! Let go of the things that don't matter and streamline your life so you can ENJOY it!
Blog Ya Later!
But sometimes you just have to stop for a minute and really LOOK at your kids. Really watch their faces as they excitedly describe something they have discovered, or even ask you a neverending question, "Can I have......?"
The innocence and the sweetness can melt away all of the layers of thoughts of "I gotta do this, I should really do that, I really don't want to do THAT!" and then, "Oh CRAP! I forgot to do that.......!"
Blake today was hiding his arm in his tshirt and excitedly pretending that he lost it. "Look! My arm is gone, mommy!"
I said, "Oh NO! Where did it go?"
Pop! out comes the little arm and he spreads out his fingers and cries, "There it is!" with just the cutest expression of surprise and pride. :)
I wish I'd had a camera with me and I could catch all those little special expressions, because sometimes he absolutely clams up in front of the camera, just pretending that he doesn't really want to be photographed even though I know he does. SO getting a photo of good him is a trick. :)
Emily, herself, is a bag of tricks. She is so full of life that I don't know how to take it sometimes. I have always been so "reserved" I guess you would say. There is not a shy bone in that girls body! She doesn't just hug you, she attacks you! She doesn't just smile at other kids, she shouts across the play area, "Hey!!! What's your name?" and then will proceed to give a total stranger all of her toys and her affection, whether they want it or not.
I really need to spend more alone time with her. Before Blake was born, she had me all to herself and we had so many moments of sweet, precious bonding. I remember worrying with great tears sometimes, while I was pregnant with Blake, that I wouldn't be able to love another child like I loved Emily. I really did not see how I could ever share my love with another child. I just adored her. I still adore her and she she knows she holds a special place in my heart because she is my first.
I was just telling her last night how special she was. I said, "You know what Emily?" She said, "What?" looking up at me with those big brown eyes, full of expectation.
"God made you soo special, that there is no one in the world like you!" She broke out into a big grin, very self-satisfied, basking in the knowledge. (I've told her this before, but she never tires of it:)
"In fact, He broke the mold after He made you." I said in a sort of conspiratorial way.
"What's a mold?" she said, confused.
"You know how we make cookies with cookie cutters? Well, you can make lots of cookies that are all the same with a cookie cutter. A mold is like that. You can make lots of the same things with a mold. But he broke the "Emily" mold so there will never be another Emily like you ever again!"
And then I said, "And you know what is even more amazing?"
"What?!" she says in a whisper.
"God gave you to ME! He must love me a lot."
She was on cloud nine! It was so sweet to see how she just lights up like a star when she knows she is loved. She gets really quiet, but she just glows!
It is one of the only times I can get her to sit still, when we have special time like that. She was actually a calmer child before Blake came into the picture. She was so excited to have her little brother! She still is, she loves him to death. But I can tell that no matter how much attention she gets from me, she misses having me all to herself.
I miss those special times we had together, too. I have tried to make sure we go out on little "dates" together, and she absolutely loves it. But I need to make it more regular and more frequent. She just has so much love to give and she is larger than life itself. She needs more attention than I ever did as a child.
So as far as the laundry goes, and other things that are constantly taking up precious time.....
I really love to do deep cleaning and even organizing, but it seems I can never get to them often enough because of the other things that are constant sources of frustration and is just neverending "busy-work". My main sources of frustration on a daily basis are:
Laundry, Dishes, Toys and Papers! (Misc papers and mail and just disorganized paperwork)
So I have decided I am going to try an experiment.
Laundry: I am going to set out a small amount of outfits for each child and myself included, like no more than a week or 10 days worth. I will either pack or set aside all other clothes and these will be the only things we can wear. I am aslo going to weed out unused clothing this week and donate or sell them.
Dishes: Also, I am going to use only disposable dishes for a while just to get on top of things. Cutting out the neverending stream of dishes in the sink will free up some time to tackle other projects.....lol
Toys: I have already tackled the toy issue. I packed up all the kids toys after a particularly bad afternoon outing where they refused to obey me. So I told them that ALL of their toys were going in garbage bags, and they could earn a toy back each time they obey me, THE FIRST TIME I say something. If I have to ask them more than once, it doesn't count. If they disobey again, a previously earned toy goes back in the garbage bags.
So most of the toys are in the garage right now.......
Papers: As far as the paperwork goes...that needs serious attention! My office is a source of tension everyday so I am just going to have to tackle it bit by bit.
But spending time with the kids has got to be a priority and cutting down on unneccessary work will help with that......
I just am amazed sometimes. I will look at them and think, "Where are my little babies?" They grow too fast!
Time is of the essence, all you moms out there! Join me, all you who labour and are heavy laden! Let go of the things that don't matter and streamline your life so you can ENJOY it!
Blog Ya Later!
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Home Sweet Home!
I am SOOOO glad to be home! We took a very hurried and very stressful trip to visit relatives in the short amount of time we had. It started out as just a plan to go to the beach with the kids and meet up with Lance's sister and family there. We have NEVER been on a family vacation before, and so we thought it was about time to take one, even though with Lance's new business we can't really take much time to do it. SO what's better summer fun than the beach?
But we knew that the kids really needed to see Grandma "Cappy" and Grandpa "CoCo" sometime this summer, so we figured, "Why don't we just include them in the plans?" We figured I should try to see them before we met up with Teila and Rick at the beach. What's a few more hours of driving, right?........
Pleeease someone, tell me I am crazy before I ever try to travel hundreds of miles across 4 states, with kids, BY MYSELF, again!
Don't get me wrong, I am glad we got to visit everybody, but I am flying if at all possible next time. We decided to break up my trip to Montgomery in three legs. First stop in Houston with BeauNini in Houston overnight. And actually, although it is only a 3 hour trip from SA to Houston.....with two kids in the car and a very hectic start to the trip, tensions were already tight before we barely got on the road.
I had gotten very sick Thursday night before the trip so I was totally exhausted by the time we had to leave on Saturday because I had not gotten any sleep Thursday night. And then I ran around doing catchup errands and did laundry and packing on Friday. We bought a DVD player JUST before we left town Sat. and that was a headache in itself! Anyway, boy was I glad to rest at BeauNini's house Saturday night! By that time I already wanted to turn around and fo home...lol. But BeauNiNi made me a Margarita and we all sat on the porch swing, kids with popsicles and us with lemon margaritas, YUM!!!! Much better, thank you, Alicia!
Sunday was on to Teila's and an overnight stay in Mandeville, LA. LOVED the visit, and the kids were absolutely enthralled with baby Sofia! Rick is Teila's husband and we love him to death, too. GREAT MARGARITAS, Teila!!! WOW, what a trip, I got margaritas twice in one month! I'm lucky if I get one every few weeks!
We actually stayed there Sun and Mon night because we were just not up to driving the last leg to Montgomery yet.
Now mind you, the trip to Houston was supposed to be a 3 hr trip.....it took 5.
The leg to Mandeville from Houston was supposed to be 4.5-5 hrs...it toook a friggin' 7 1/2 hrs!
And I KNEW that the proposed trip to Montgomery, although it was supposed to be 5-6, I was looking at more like 7-8 hrs.
So mom decided to meet me about halfway, in Mobile and she drove back with Emily in her car and I had Blake with me.
MAN!!! What a difference it makes! Separately they are just a joy to travel with, but you put them together in the backseat and they can't stop making noise! "Mom, he said stupid!" "Moooom, he said Freak!" "No, I didn't!" on and on, he did this, she did that, stop copying me!, stop touching me!
AHHHHH! And it's bad enough having to deal with it when Lance is driving, but trying to deal with it AS I am driving is just a crazy maker! SO the visit with mom and dad and uncle Chris was nice, but too short and a little harried since we didn't really have time to just relax much. The kids loved the planetarium and got to get some good grandma-grandpa time. Chris and I actually went out for a margarita, too! I know how hard his illness and everything has been and we have never actually gone out together, ever. SO Lance actually suggested I take him out for a a couple of hours and just have some good sibling time. I really enjoyed it.
So, Lance got to fly down to meet us on the beach....lucky guy!......and he drove us back today.
We finally had our family Vacation at the beach and it was pretty hilarious, actually!
All this driving and work to get there and after like 1 hr in the heat and the sticky, smelly sand, we were ready to go get cleaned! It didn't help things that Blake absolutely refused to get near the water! So, he and I stayed up on the sand and he was happy playing in the sand. Emily and Blake had a great time. Lance burns very easily and so, even slathered with sunscreen, he was not too keen on staying out too long. Blakes skin cannot take too much either, although he did not burn at all, like Lance and I did.
So we went back to the hotel, and got lunch at waffle house. Good thing we didn't have to look to good to eat there, we were all exhausted already. We got cleaned up and went to tour the beautiful Beau Rivage, and what a beautiful hotel! I'm staying there next time, if we ever go back to Biloxi.......
After such an long day of adventure.....haha....we all needed a nap, can you believe it!? Me and the kids took a nap while Lance went back to Beau Rivage for a couple of hours. And then by the time we woke up and were ready to go to the hotel pool....it was hurricane weather! Lance brought back fast food for dinner, so we wouldn't have to go out in the weather. What a great end to a great vacation, huh? Oh well, maybe next time.....
Then the wonderful drive home......NOT! Let's see, we left Biloxi at around 11:15 and we pulled in to the drive at, uh, 10:53. About 12 hrs! OH...MY....GOD!!!!! No, really.....oh, my God! WHY, God?!
But I have to remember that nothing has fallen me that is not common to man, right?
Well, let's make it a little less common from now on. :)
So....I am very tired and very grateful for my own bed, old and lumpy as it is. I am going to stumble into it now....
Blog Ya Later!
But we knew that the kids really needed to see Grandma "Cappy" and Grandpa "CoCo" sometime this summer, so we figured, "Why don't we just include them in the plans?" We figured I should try to see them before we met up with Teila and Rick at the beach. What's a few more hours of driving, right?........
Pleeease someone, tell me I am crazy before I ever try to travel hundreds of miles across 4 states, with kids, BY MYSELF, again!
Don't get me wrong, I am glad we got to visit everybody, but I am flying if at all possible next time. We decided to break up my trip to Montgomery in three legs. First stop in Houston with BeauNini in Houston overnight. And actually, although it is only a 3 hour trip from SA to Houston.....with two kids in the car and a very hectic start to the trip, tensions were already tight before we barely got on the road.
I had gotten very sick Thursday night before the trip so I was totally exhausted by the time we had to leave on Saturday because I had not gotten any sleep Thursday night. And then I ran around doing catchup errands and did laundry and packing on Friday. We bought a DVD player JUST before we left town Sat. and that was a headache in itself! Anyway, boy was I glad to rest at BeauNini's house Saturday night! By that time I already wanted to turn around and fo home...lol. But BeauNiNi made me a Margarita and we all sat on the porch swing, kids with popsicles and us with lemon margaritas, YUM!!!! Much better, thank you, Alicia!
Sunday was on to Teila's and an overnight stay in Mandeville, LA. LOVED the visit, and the kids were absolutely enthralled with baby Sofia! Rick is Teila's husband and we love him to death, too. GREAT MARGARITAS, Teila!!! WOW, what a trip, I got margaritas twice in one month! I'm lucky if I get one every few weeks!
We actually stayed there Sun and Mon night because we were just not up to driving the last leg to Montgomery yet.
Now mind you, the trip to Houston was supposed to be a 3 hr trip.....it took 5.
The leg to Mandeville from Houston was supposed to be 4.5-5 hrs...it toook a friggin' 7 1/2 hrs!
And I KNEW that the proposed trip to Montgomery, although it was supposed to be 5-6, I was looking at more like 7-8 hrs.
So mom decided to meet me about halfway, in Mobile and she drove back with Emily in her car and I had Blake with me.
MAN!!! What a difference it makes! Separately they are just a joy to travel with, but you put them together in the backseat and they can't stop making noise! "Mom, he said stupid!" "Moooom, he said Freak!" "No, I didn't!" on and on, he did this, she did that, stop copying me!, stop touching me!
AHHHHH! And it's bad enough having to deal with it when Lance is driving, but trying to deal with it AS I am driving is just a crazy maker! SO the visit with mom and dad and uncle Chris was nice, but too short and a little harried since we didn't really have time to just relax much. The kids loved the planetarium and got to get some good grandma-grandpa time. Chris and I actually went out for a margarita, too! I know how hard his illness and everything has been and we have never actually gone out together, ever. SO Lance actually suggested I take him out for a a couple of hours and just have some good sibling time. I really enjoyed it.
So, Lance got to fly down to meet us on the beach....lucky guy!......and he drove us back today.
We finally had our family Vacation at the beach and it was pretty hilarious, actually!
All this driving and work to get there and after like 1 hr in the heat and the sticky, smelly sand, we were ready to go get cleaned! It didn't help things that Blake absolutely refused to get near the water! So, he and I stayed up on the sand and he was happy playing in the sand. Emily and Blake had a great time. Lance burns very easily and so, even slathered with sunscreen, he was not too keen on staying out too long. Blakes skin cannot take too much either, although he did not burn at all, like Lance and I did.
So we went back to the hotel, and got lunch at waffle house. Good thing we didn't have to look to good to eat there, we were all exhausted already. We got cleaned up and went to tour the beautiful Beau Rivage, and what a beautiful hotel! I'm staying there next time, if we ever go back to Biloxi.......
After such an long day of adventure.....haha....we all needed a nap, can you believe it!? Me and the kids took a nap while Lance went back to Beau Rivage for a couple of hours. And then by the time we woke up and were ready to go to the hotel pool....it was hurricane weather! Lance brought back fast food for dinner, so we wouldn't have to go out in the weather. What a great end to a great vacation, huh? Oh well, maybe next time.....
Then the wonderful drive home......NOT! Let's see, we left Biloxi at around 11:15 and we pulled in to the drive at, uh, 10:53. About 12 hrs! OH...MY....GOD!!!!! No, really.....oh, my God! WHY, God?!
But I have to remember that nothing has fallen me that is not common to man, right?
Well, let's make it a little less common from now on. :)
So....I am very tired and very grateful for my own bed, old and lumpy as it is. I am going to stumble into it now....
Blog Ya Later!
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Hot SA Summer!
Well, I will see how I like this format for blogging. SO for starters, summer is already TOO HOT!!!
We have been having 100+ degree days already! It is usually in the 90's around this time so I hear, so that does not make me too thrilled about the prospects for our first summer in San Antonio as far as the weather goes. But fortunately the evenings are really nice here. Beautiful actually, at least so far, even with the hot days.
Unlike Houston, SA gets a lot more wind it seems and you get some really balmy, almost beachy feel in the evenings. If I closed my eyes I could almost imagine I am at the beach!
Well, I will be at the beach in a few days, actually. But it is definately a blessing to have the wind to cool off the days here. In fact, Emily and I got into the spirit of the whole summer patio idea and I took the little bistro table and chairs that was on the front porch and moved it to the back porch, since we never use it in the front. And now we can have dinner on the back patio or I can have my coffee in the morning and enjoy the watching the kids play in the back yard. At least there is some shade in the back yard.
I must say we had a pretty big back yard in the old house in Houston, but this one is truly amazing! Our home is on the corner lot, right around the corner from the elementary school but on a cul-de-sac street so there is no thru traffic. This corner lot is absolutely huge! Front and back. The True Green guy today said the front yard alone is probably over 6000 sq ft. No wonder it was so expensive when I used the sprinkler system last August! We were thrilled to have a custom inground sprinkler system and as we have never had one before, I watered the lawn a couple times a week for one month and BAM! What a water bill! I think it was something like $500. Really ridiculous! In fact, I got really mad and had them come out to check for a leak, but they couldn't find one.
So needless to say, I stopped using the sprinkler system. We had to cut up the bill over the last several months and include it in our regular water bill.
But now with summer here, it has been so dry here that everyone's lawns have been pretty brown, so I am starting to water with the sprinkler again, just sparingly though. But we could lose this beautiful lawn if we let the heat take over. It is just so big that we would have to have like 8 hoses or be constantly moving the water hose if I watered it by hand. This week I set it to water only 6-10 minutes twice a week just to keep the lawn from dying. So we'll see......
As I said before, Lance is moving the company into the Medical and Construction side of things, since it is so huge here. When he made that decision last week it has been freaky how things have been happening. The very next morning, what over 11 months in business?, a Dentist actually walks INTO the office, in his full scrubs, and places an order for an office administrator for his new office. He said he'd been dropping off his daughter at the driver's school just a few doors down and had been meaning to come in for some time and just kept putting it off. But lo and behold, Lance made the decision to focus on Medical Staffing and here comes a medical order! Then that night, on our date, our waitress turns out to be a pharmacy tech who just moved here with her husband and has been looking for something for 2 months. And her husband is also looking and he does something like Lab tech or something like that! Weird how God works things out.
Of course we know that once you really make up your mind to do something, many times the unexplainable begins to happen. Those little coincidences don't seem so coincidental anymore.
By the way, my allergists office called and said the scan of my sinuses showed that I STILL have a sinus infection! I just got over about of antibiotics for it and I really don't want to take anymore. But he has prescribed me one I haven't had before so maybe this will knock it out finally. I am going to have to really put together a regimine of supplementation with friendly bacteria since these antibiotics are wiping out literally every bacteria I have in my body, good and bad alike. My immune system is going to be shot if this keeps up. It probably is already.
But that is all going to change this summer! I am determined! Dream It, Believe It, Do It!
I've got to go now, I've spent too much time blogging today and I'm going to enjoy the warm breeze on my back patio with my sweeties. (Lance is out practicing his rock-n-roll again. They are actually going to record this weekend!)
Blog ya later!
We have been having 100+ degree days already! It is usually in the 90's around this time so I hear, so that does not make me too thrilled about the prospects for our first summer in San Antonio as far as the weather goes. But fortunately the evenings are really nice here. Beautiful actually, at least so far, even with the hot days.
Unlike Houston, SA gets a lot more wind it seems and you get some really balmy, almost beachy feel in the evenings. If I closed my eyes I could almost imagine I am at the beach!
Well, I will be at the beach in a few days, actually. But it is definately a blessing to have the wind to cool off the days here. In fact, Emily and I got into the spirit of the whole summer patio idea and I took the little bistro table and chairs that was on the front porch and moved it to the back porch, since we never use it in the front. And now we can have dinner on the back patio or I can have my coffee in the morning and enjoy the watching the kids play in the back yard. At least there is some shade in the back yard.
I must say we had a pretty big back yard in the old house in Houston, but this one is truly amazing! Our home is on the corner lot, right around the corner from the elementary school but on a cul-de-sac street so there is no thru traffic. This corner lot is absolutely huge! Front and back. The True Green guy today said the front yard alone is probably over 6000 sq ft. No wonder it was so expensive when I used the sprinkler system last August! We were thrilled to have a custom inground sprinkler system and as we have never had one before, I watered the lawn a couple times a week for one month and BAM! What a water bill! I think it was something like $500. Really ridiculous! In fact, I got really mad and had them come out to check for a leak, but they couldn't find one.
So needless to say, I stopped using the sprinkler system. We had to cut up the bill over the last several months and include it in our regular water bill.
But now with summer here, it has been so dry here that everyone's lawns have been pretty brown, so I am starting to water with the sprinkler again, just sparingly though. But we could lose this beautiful lawn if we let the heat take over. It is just so big that we would have to have like 8 hoses or be constantly moving the water hose if I watered it by hand. This week I set it to water only 6-10 minutes twice a week just to keep the lawn from dying. So we'll see......
As I said before, Lance is moving the company into the Medical and Construction side of things, since it is so huge here. When he made that decision last week it has been freaky how things have been happening. The very next morning, what over 11 months in business?, a Dentist actually walks INTO the office, in his full scrubs, and places an order for an office administrator for his new office. He said he'd been dropping off his daughter at the driver's school just a few doors down and had been meaning to come in for some time and just kept putting it off. But lo and behold, Lance made the decision to focus on Medical Staffing and here comes a medical order! Then that night, on our date, our waitress turns out to be a pharmacy tech who just moved here with her husband and has been looking for something for 2 months. And her husband is also looking and he does something like Lab tech or something like that! Weird how God works things out.
Of course we know that once you really make up your mind to do something, many times the unexplainable begins to happen. Those little coincidences don't seem so coincidental anymore.
By the way, my allergists office called and said the scan of my sinuses showed that I STILL have a sinus infection! I just got over about of antibiotics for it and I really don't want to take anymore. But he has prescribed me one I haven't had before so maybe this will knock it out finally. I am going to have to really put together a regimine of supplementation with friendly bacteria since these antibiotics are wiping out literally every bacteria I have in my body, good and bad alike. My immune system is going to be shot if this keeps up. It probably is already.
But that is all going to change this summer! I am determined! Dream It, Believe It, Do It!
I've got to go now, I've spent too much time blogging today and I'm going to enjoy the warm breeze on my back patio with my sweeties. (Lance is out practicing his rock-n-roll again. They are actually going to record this weekend!)
Blog ya later!
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